Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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