Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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