We're like a lot better than the average bears
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
