belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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