he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
