there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize