guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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