i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
