I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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