It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
