is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
