What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
