I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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