I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
