haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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