just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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