I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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