I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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