CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
