i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
