i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
