if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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