THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
