just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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