Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
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"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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