I didn't shave. On purpose
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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