Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
