We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
