Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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