is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
