paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
