"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
