He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
