I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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