Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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