Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
