I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
