so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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