if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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