im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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