I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
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