what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
