They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
