i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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