Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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