Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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