oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
