so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
