i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize