He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
