Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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