the condom got lost in my hair
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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