I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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