I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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