I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
