So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Houston, we have a blender
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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