when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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