dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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