ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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