There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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