i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
