if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
