and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize