Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
