I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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