Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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