you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
