i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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