I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
