Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
