Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
